07.01.09
Fun with Bible Edits
The Following is a list of Bible verses that speak of sheep and shepherds. Through inventive means Timothy Sloan has replaced said words with their swine equivalents. The result takes verses that we are very familiar with and gives us a contrast of an amusing and entertaining mental picture. Don’t take this too seriously. It’s all in good fun, and just there to provoke a small chuckle.
(John 10:1-30) “I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the pigpen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber…”
(Genesis 22:7-8) Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, “Father?” “Yes, my son?” Abraham replied. “The fire and wood are here,” Isaac said, “but where is the piglet for the burnt offering?” Abraham answered, “God himself will provide the piglet for the burnt offering, my son.” And the two of them went on together.
(Genesis 48:15-16) Then he blessed Joseph and said, “May the God before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac walked, the God who has been my swineherd all my life to this day, the Angel who has delivered me from all harm –may he bless these boys. May they be called by my name and the names of my fathers Abraham and Isaac, and may they increase greatly upon the earth.”
(Genesis 49:24) But his bow remained steady, his strong arms stayed limber, because of the hand of the Mighty One of Jacob, because of the Swineherd, the Rock of Israel,
(Exodus 12:21) Then Moses summoned all the elders of Israel and said to them, “Go at once and select the animals for your families and slaughter the Passover piglet.
(Deuteronomy 16:2) Sacrifice as the Passover to the LORD your God an animal from your herd at the place the LORD will choose as a dwelling for his Name.
Read more about the Passover Piglet and other sacrifices in Exodus – Deuteronomy
(1 Kings 22:17) Then Micaiah answered, “I saw all Israel scattered on the hills like pigs without a swineherd, and the LORD said, ‘These people have no master. Let each one go home in peace.’”
(Psalm 23:1) A psalm of David. The LORD is my swineherd, I shall not be in want.
(Psalm 28:9) Save your people and bless your inheritance; be their swineherd and carry them forever.
(Psalm 44:22) Yet for your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as pigs to be slaughtered.
(Psalm 77:20) You led your people like a herd by the hand of Moses and Aaron.
(Psalm 78:52) But he brought his people out like a herd; he led them like pigs through the desert.
(Psalm 79:13) Then we your people, the pigs of your pigpen, will praise you forever; from generation to generation we will recount your praise.
(Psalm 80:1) For the director of music. To the tune of “The Lilies of the Covenant.” Of Asaph. A psalm. Hear us, O Swineherd of Israel, you who lead Joseph like a herd; you who sit enthroned between the cherubim, shine forth
(Psalm 95:7) for he is our God and we are the people of his pigpen, the herd under his care. Today, if you hear his voice,
(Psalm 100:3) Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his ; we are his people, the pigs of his pigpen.
(Psalm 119:176) I have strayed like a lost pig. Seek your servant, for I have not forgotten your commands.
(Ecclesiastes 12:11) The words of the wise are like goads, their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails–given by one Swineherd.
(Isaiah 1:11) “The multitude of your sacrifices– what are they to me?” says the LORD. “I have more than enough of burnt offerings, of hogs and the fat of fattened animals; I have no pleasure in the blood of bulls and piglets and swine.
(Isaiah 11:6) The wolf will live with the piglet, the leopard will lie down with the swine, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them.
(Isaiah 40:11) He tends his herd like a swineherd: He gathers the piglets in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.
(Isaiah 53:6-7) We all, like pigs, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a piglet to the slaughter, and as a pig before her shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth.
(Isaiah 65:25) The wolf and the piglet will feed together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox, but dust will be the serpent’s food. They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain,” says the LORD.
(Jeremiah 10:21) The swineherds are senseless and do not inquire of the LORD; so they do not prosper and all their herd is scattered.
(Jeremiah 23:1-3) “Woe to the swineherds who are destroying and scattering the pigs of my pigpen!” declares the LORD. Therefore this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says to the swineherds who tend my people: “Because you have scattered my herd and driven them away and have not bestowed care on them, I will bestow punishment on you for the evil you have done,” declares the LORD. “I myself will gather the remnant of my herd out of all the countries where I have driven them and will bring them back to their pigpen, where they will be fruitful and increase in number.
(Jeremiah 31:10) “Hear the word of the LORD, O nations; proclaim it in distant coastlands: ‘He who scattered Israel will gather them and will watch over his herd like a swineherd.’
Jeremiah 50:6) “My people have been lost pigs; their swineherds have led them astray and caused them to roam on the mountains. They wandered over mountain and hill and forgot their own resting place.
(Ezekiel 34) The word of the LORD came to me: “Son of man, prophesy against the swineherds of Israel; prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says: Woe to the swineherds of Israel who only take care of themselves! Should not swineherds take care of the herd? You eat the curds, clothe yourselves with the pigskin and slaughter the choice animals, but you do not take care of the herd. You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally. So they were scattered because there was no swineherd, and when they were scattered they became food for all the wild animals. My pigs wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. They were scattered over the whole earth, and no one searched or looked for them.
“‘Therefore, you swineherds, hear the word of the LORD: As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, because my herd lacks a swineherd and so has been plundered and has become food for all the wild animals, and because my swineherds did not search for my herd but cared for themselves rather than for my herd, therefore, O swineherds, hear the word of the LORD: This is what the Sovereign LORD says: I am against the swineherds and will hold them accountable for my herd. I will remove them from tending the herd so that the swineherds can no longer feed themselves. I will rescue my herd from their mouths, and it will no longer be food for them.
“‘For this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I myself will search for my pigs and look after them. As a swineherd looks after his scattered herd when he is with them, so will I look after my pigs. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness. I will bring them out from the nations and gather them from the countries, and I will bring them into their own land. I will pigpen them on the mountains of Israel, in the ravines and in all the settlements in the land. I will tend them in a good pigpen, and the mountain heights of Israel will be their grazing land. There they will lie down in good grazing land, and there they will feed in a rich pigpen on the mountains of Israel. I myself will tend my pigs and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign LORD. I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak, but the sleek and the strong I will destroy. I will swineherd the herd with justice.
“‘As for you, my herd, this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I will judge between one pig and another, and between hogs and swine. Is it not enough for you to feed on the good pigpen? Must you also trample the rest of your pigpen with your feet? Is it not enough for you to drink clear water? Must you also muddy the rest with your feet? Must my herd feed on what you have trampled and drink what you have muddied with your feet? “‘Therefore this is what the Sovereign LORD says to them: See, I myself will judge between the fat pigs and the lean pigs. Because you shove with flank and shoulder, butting all the weak pigs with your horns until you have driven them away, I will save my herd, and they will no longer be plundered. I will judge between one pig and another.
I will place over them one swineherd, my servant David, and he will tend them; he will tend them and be their swineherd. I the LORD will be their God, and my servant David will be prince among them. I the LORD have spoken. “‘I will make a covenant of peace with them and rid the land of wild beasts so that they may live in the desert and sleep in the forests in safety. I will bless them and the places surrounding my hill. I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing. The trees of the field will yield their fruit and the ground will yield its crops; the people will be secure in their land. They will know that I am the LORD, when I break the bars of their yoke and rescue them from the hands of those who enslaved them. They will no longer be plundered by the nations, nor will wild animals devour them. They will live in safety, and no one will make them afraid. I will provide for them a land renowned for its crops, and they will no longer be victims of famine in the land or bear the scorn of the nations.
Then they will know that I, the LORD their God, am with them and that they, the house of Israel, are my people, declares the Sovereign LORD.
You my pigs, the pigs of my pigpen, are people, and I am your God, declares the Sovereign LORD.’”
(Ezekiel 37:24) “‘My servant David will be king over them, and they will all have one swineherd. They will follow my laws and be careful to keep my decrees.
(Micah 2:12) “I will surely gather all of you, O Jacob; I will surely bring together the remnant of Israel. I will bring them together like pigs in a pen, like a herd in its pigpen; the place will throng with people.
(Micah 5:4) He will stand and swineherd his herd in the strength of the LORD, in the majesty of the name of the LORD his God. And they will live securely, for then his greatness will reach to the ends of the earth.
(Zechariah 9:16) The LORD their God will save them on that day as the herd of his people. They will sparkle in his land like jewels in a crown.
(Matthew 2:6) “‘But you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for out of you will come a ruler who will be the swineherd of my people Israel.’”
(Matthew 9:36) When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like pigs without a swineherd.
(Matthew 10:16) I am sending you out like pigs among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.
(Matthew 12:11-12) He said to them, “If any of you has a pig and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out? How much more valuable is a man than a pig! Therefore it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath.”
(Matthew 18:12-13) “What do you think? If a man owns a hundred pigs, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one pig than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off.
(Matthew 25:32) All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a swineherd separates the pigs from the swine.
(Mark 6:34) When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like pigs without a swineherd. So he began teaching them many things.
(Luke 10:3) Go! I am sending you out like piglets among wolves.
(Luke 12:32) “Do not be afraid, little herd, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.
(Luke 15:3-7) Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred pigs and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost pig until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost pig.’ I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.
(Luke 22:7) Then came the day of Unleavened Bread on which the Passover piglet had to be sacrificed.
(John 1:29) The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “Look, the Piglet of God, who takes away the sin of the world!
(John 1:36) When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, “Look, the Piglet of God!”
(John 10:1) “I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the pigpen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber.
(John 10:2) The man who enters by the gate is the swineherd of his pigs.
(John 10:3) The watchman opens the gate for him, and the pigs listen to his voice. He calls his own pigs by name and leads them out.
(John 10:4) When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his pigs follow him because they know his voice.
(John 10:7) Therefore Jesus said again, “I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the pigs.
(John 10:8) All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the pigs did not listen to them.
(John 10:11) “I am the good swineherd. The good swineherd lays down his life for the pigs.
(John 10:12) The hired hand is not the swineherd who owns the pigs. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the pigs and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the herd and scatters it.
(John 10:1-30) “I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the pigpen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber. The man who enters by the gate is the swineherd of his pigs. The watchman opens the gate for him, and the pigs listen to his voice. He calls his own pigs by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his pigs follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” Jesus used this figure of speech, but they did not understand what he was telling them.
Therefore Jesus said again, “I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the pigs. All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the pigs did not listen to them. I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pigpen. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
“I am the good swineherd. The good swineherd lays down his life for the pigs. The hired hand is not the swineherd who owns the pigs. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the pigs and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the herd and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the pigs.
“I am the good swineherd; I know my pigs and my pigs know me–just as the Father knows me and I know the Father–and I lay down my life for the pigs. I have other pigs that are not of this pigs pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one herd and one swineherd.
The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life–only to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.” At these words the Jews were again divided. Many of them said, “He is demon-possessed and raving mad. Why listen to him?” But others said, “These are not the sayings of a man possessed by a demon. Can a demon open the eyes of the blind?”
Then came the Feast of Dedication at Jerusalem. It was winter, and Jesus was in the temple area walking in Solomon’s Colonnade. The Jews gathered around him, saying, “How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Christ, tell us plainly.” Jesus answered, “I did tell you, but you do not believe. The miracles I do in my Father’s name speak for me, but you do not believe because you are not my pigs.
My pigs listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all ; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”
(Acts 20:28) Keep watch over yourselves and all the herd of which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers. Be swineherds of the church of God, which he bought with his own blood.
(Romans 8:36) As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as pigs to be slaughtered.”
(1 Corinthians 5:7) Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast–as you really are. For Christ, our Passover piglet, has been sacrificed.
(Hebrews 13:20) May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Swineherd of the pigs,
(1 Peter 1:19) but with the precious blood of Christ, a piglet without blemish or defect.
(1 Peter 2:25) For you were like pigs going astray, but now you have returned to the Swineherd and Overseer of your souls.


One Comment
Some of these were quite amusing. That said, there’s something pointedly disturbing about so much talk of sacrificing a Piglet. After all, the guy has enough of an inferiority complex as it is; do we really want to give him more to worry about?